14 Struggles We All Face Every Winter in Rockford
We know it's coming every year yet we never ever really seem prepared to deal with the harshness that is Illinois winters. It's too cold, it's too dark, people forget how to drive; the list goes on and on.
Maybe, if we just accepted that for six months out of the year that these 12 winter struggles are inevitable, winter could be just a little bit more bearable. And when I say bearable, I don't just mean hibernate.
Here are 12 struggles we're bound to face every winter in Rockford.
Getting up earlier to warm up your car.
You get up 30 minutes earlier every morning to warm up the car; you tell yourself it's worth it but deep down it's the hate fire inside you that's burning when that alarm goes of that's keeping you warmer than any pre-heated sedan ever will.
You're late to work because you had to shovel the end of your driveway.
So you got up 30 minutes early, got the car started and you're about to head out, but you only cracked the garage just enough to let the fumes escape into the cold air and you had no idea that the neighborhood snow plow guy came early and plowed you in. Great, now you're late to work. Horrible road conditions didn't help your cause.
Plowed in driveway.
Whether it's a local guy who needed some extra cash so he through a plow on the end of his truck, or it's the city, you're pretty much guaranteed to get plowed in your driveway at least twice a year, and it always happens when you really need to be somewhere.
Having a savings account for tow money.
Anyone else feel like it's impossible to keep up with city snow emergencies? What side of the road should you park on? You parked downtown and have to move your car but leave it a little longer because it's too cold or there are no spots so not only do you get a ticket, your car gets towed. Always have $250 on standby for tow emergencies.
Salt on the bottom of your jeans.
You've ruined more pairs of jeans this way; but you just can't bring yourself to buy a pair of winter moon boots to tuck them in because it looks silly.
That brings us to the fashion or function debate.
You really do want to buy winter boots but you only bring yourself to wear them when you're going skiing or sledding because it's just so much easier to wear your regular shoes because a. it looks better and b. it's a total pain the a-- to carry around an extra pair of shoes to change into at work. Plus, you hate the clutter under your desk from leaving your heals and knee high boots behind.
Involuntary ice dancing.
Plan on doing a lot of ice dancing, aka falling, a lot this winter. It's unavoidable.
Dry, flaking skin.
An alligator doesn't have anything on you. You itch and bathe in moisturizer yet you still finding yourself spending time at your desk, writing your name in your forearm. Not even Oil of Olay can save you from the dry, winter air.
Static shock wars.
We all work with or live with that one guy who thinks it's funny to walk around the house or office, ferociously rubbing their feet on the carpet, just so they can come up and shock you. Whatever you do, don't let them get your face, especially your lips.
It doesn't matter if the hat is on for 5 minutes or 5 hours, the minute you take off your winter hat one of two things happens- it's all matted down over your eyes because of the sweat or it's sticking straight up.
Another hair issue- static cling hair.
So you're getting ready for work and you slip on a warm, cozy sweater straight from the dryer; you slip it over your head and boom, your hair is sticking straight up. People around you think it's hilarious when they rub balloons on your noggin and stick them to walls...until you get a little payback with the shock from your finger tip.
Finding the energy to shave your legs.
During the winter, the decision to shave your legs is based solely on how much energy you have and what the likelihood of some guy touching them is going to be. Usually you just say screw it because no one's going to see them and guys don't really care anyway.
Like Napoleon Dynamite says, you're lips hurt real bad. Maybe it's the flavored Chapstick you use, it could be the dry air; but every year your lips get so dang chapped. So much licking and biting off the skin. Ugh.
What are the struggles you face every single winter?