7 Signs That You’re a Real ‘Dad’ Kind of Dad

Dads are great, they fix your brakes, they teach you how to unclog the toilet and how to fill your windshield wiper fluid, and they do a lot of other things too, "dad" things.

At my old age of 29, I've come to realize a lot of things. One of those things is that I have the most dad-like dad on the planet.

I'm almost positive if you look up the word "dad" in the dictionary, my dad's face will be there. He is truly THE dad.

Aside from the fact that he has four kids, and fixes stuff, these are the seven things that make him such a "dad" dad.

1. He owns dad shoes. You know what I'm talking about. Gym shoes that are all one color, and very stable, and apparently size 10 EEEE. Usually he buys white ones, but this week he introduced me to his all black gym shoes.
2. He eats dad pizza. Dad pizza is covered in green peppers, sometimes sausage, sometimes pepperoni and/or mushrooms. Always green peppers, and it's cut into squares.
3. He wears dad sweatshirts. No hoods are allowed in the official "dad" club. No no, if it has a hood it might choke you. Or make you too sweaty. Or get in the way of doing your dad things. No hoodies for THE dad.
4. He eats dad mints. Mints are delicious and should be enjoyed by everyone, but dads keep their mints in the same two places, their car and their pockets. So thus, even where there are no mints in those locations, it smells like there are. That smell gets a little stale... which brings us to what else is in dad pockets.
5. He carries weird things in his pocket. Need some mints? Dad's pockets. What about a handkerchief? Ear plugs? Most importantly his comb that he uses every time he goes to the bathroom. Does this need an explanation? It's a very dad thing to do. Though I will say thanks dad, because I've used the handkerchief before to sneeze.
6. He has an outgoing "dad" voicemail message. When you call my parents' house and get the voicemail, it's my dad saying, "At the tone... you know what to do."
7. He does not have a Facebook account. Sorry dads on Facebook, but if you're a true "dad" dad, you don't have Facebook.