8 Rockford Turkeys That Give Zero F**ks
They're literally everywhere, walking around they own the place. Taking their time crossing streets, mating in your backyard like you run a no-tell motel. WTH.
The attitude these wild turkeys walk around Rockford with is like they know they're not the ones who wind up spending hours in our ovens and then devoured like a 'walker' eating a human. In case you didn't know, these are not the plump, juicy and tasty birds on our Thanksgiving table. Those are domestic turkeys and their not too bright. My mom, who grew up on a farm, told me domestic turkeys who can't fly are so stupid that they look up in the rain and drown. The ones acting all 'boss' are wild turkeys and not only can they fly, they can fly at speeds of almost 55 m.p.h..
9 Rockford Turkeys That Give Zero F--ks
Let's start with this group, the 'Street Crossing Zero F--ks Brigade.'
That's Jimmy Gobble on the right and Tom 'Smell My Fart' Turkey on the left
Turkey Smalls... "I love it when you call me big poppa."
"I was told this was where the vegetarian Thanksgiving dinner was."
When they use your business to sell their illegal substances.
"....pssst, come into the bushes man, I've got some of that 'special' gravy."
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Didn't you see the title? It's because he gives zero f--ks and you need to be late to work.
"Lock up your kids, these are our streets now."
"Not my fault you didn't slow down, hope you called Geico."