Lance Armstrong Is The Worst Boyfriend Ever

Lance Armstrong just made every somewhat horrible; terrible boyfriend look like Prince Charming.

The next time you want to yell at your husband or boyfriend because he didn't text you back in five minutes or came home twenty minutes late on a Saturday night, I want you to think of Lance Armstrong. And not in that dream boat, sexy cyclist kind of way. (even if he is a cheater)

After a night of partying back in December, Armstrong hit two parked cars in Aspen, Colorado and, shocker, lied about it. What makes it worse, is that he let his longtime girlfriend take the blame; all so they could avoid having "their family name smeared over every paper in the world." Anna Hansen originally told police that she'd taken the wheel because Armstrong had a bit to drink but then later admitted he was driving after further police investigation.

Hansen says the decision to blame her was mutual and she won't be charged with any crime. Armstrong, however, won't be getting off that easy. According to the Aspen Daily News, he is facing up to 90 days in jail and a fine of $150 to $300 if convicted of failure to report an accident.

Maybe he should stick to bicycles.