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Man Hilariously Describes Illinois if it Were a Person is a Bar

Mature man having a beer
Thinkstock

One of the best parts of working in the communications business is that you get to be creative; it doesn’t matter if it’s print, digital, radio or television- it’s just fun to express yourself in ways that other people who work in your average workplace don’t get to…and we get paid for it.

Kudos to man from The Federalist Papers Project who had enough thought and creativity to describe all 50 states if they were  people in a bar; you have to know an awful lot about that state and it’s population to completely nail it.

Here’s what he had to say about Illinois:

“Illinois is a larger gentleman, eating deep dish pizza and drinking a Goose Island. He’s reminiscing about the ’85 Bears and how “this is the Cubs’ year.”

Even after the Cubs won the World Series last year, that’s still a pretty accurate statement.

Imagine now, that you’re walking into a bar and there’s Rockford bellied up near the waitress station; what would he look like?  Here’s how I’d describe Rockford if it was a person in a bar:

“Rockford is a tough guy, eating chicken wings and drinking Captain Cokes; he’s always hanging out with his older brother Chicago because he thinks it makes him look cool; but secretly, Chicago hates it because he spends more time trying to keeping Rockford from starting fights than he does having a good time.”

Did I get pretty close?

Here’s what the article said about Wisconsin:

“Wisconsin is drinking New Glarus while eating cheese curds, and is probably 5-6 beers ahead of everyone else.”

This is too much fun. How would you describe Rockford if it was a person in a bar?

Next: Do You Know Who Illinois' Favorite Disney Princess Is?

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