Need a Valentine’s Date? Rent A Gent.

This is a real thing.

Yes, exactly the same thing that Debra Messing did with Dermot Mulroney in The Wedding Date. Ladies, you can now rent a man. Everything about this website it hilarious, including the Dream Phone-esque online man catalog and the amazing phone number: (855) Gent 4 You.
Though at first you might think this is a sleazy website, because, well, it is... there is a section you might want to take a serious look at.

You can rent a man for romantic purposes, sure, but you can also rent a butler, a bodyguard, a dog trainer, or a handyman. So even if you've already got a Valentine, he might suck at putting stuff together. Instead, call Noah, The Guitar Player. For $300/hr, he can help you out, he's an Eagle Scout.

Oh my gosh, they also have gift cards.