Sweet Lenny’s Guide To Mardi Gras: The Home Version

Mardi Gras is today and there is a pretty good chance you aren't headed to New Orleans to celebrate. I'm staying here partying at home. This is what you need for your official "not gonna leave the house Mardis Gras party".

1st: Buy ingredients to make Jambalaya.

2nd: You don't know how to actually make jambalaya to so you kinda make it up. You just continue to load in the spicy seasonings because you "Wanna feel the Cajun". Admit you've failed to your family and order pizza.

3rd: Make Hurricanes. Tons of them. It's a pretty delicious drink. This mixologist has the goods on how to make a certified New Orleans Hurricane. Like all alcoholic beverages, you must be cautious of your intake. With Hurricanes you need to be extremely cautious.

4th: After a few Hurricanes and pizza it's time for some beads. You can either A. Make them. or B. Pick some up on your way from work at Hobby Lobby. The buying route seems much easier. After all you've just downed 3 or 4 Hurricanes.

5th: You need to find an old instrument. Something you haven't played since grade school, preferably a trumpet. If not, anything with a reed is OK too! A clarinet, oboe, and I guess a kazoo. You can't play "When The Saints Go Marching In" without an instrument. Guitars and other stringed instruments are strictly prohibited. #SuckItGuitars

6th: After you have had your fill of pizza, Hurricanes, and many one note versions of "When The Saints Go Marching In", it's now time for the parade. It doesn't matter that everyone left your house some time ago due to a argument you had with your brother-in-law about whether or not a flute qualifies as a woodwind instrument. You should do the parade anyway. My recommended route is to walk around the block, trumpet in hand (or kazoo) and throw beads to your sleeping neighbors.

LAST: After you've slept off the Mardi Gras holiday, you should return to your computer and go here. That is where you can sign up for your chance to see Katy Perry in New Orleans and win $500. Sounds better than an evening filled with pizza, kazoos, beads, one person parades and too many Hurricanes. Happy Mardi Gras!