The 5 Things You Should Never Say To A Pregnant Woman

My wife and I have two kids and we are currently working on our third.

She's five months along in what is our final pregnancy. The first two, I managed to put my foot in my mouth numerous times. This time around, I know what and what not to say.

I learned my lesson. Here are five things to not say to a pregnant woman.

1. "Could you suck your stomach in for me?" If you're in a tight space and trying to scoot by, it's probably a good idea to hold on to this one, and not say anything.
2. "Your feet are pretty swollen." She knows how swollen her feet AND fingers are, and by pointing out how much bloated they look, doesn't help them get any less swollen.
3. "Are you sure you want to eat that?" Another bad idea. The whole "eating for two" thing is not a wholly popular excuse for over eating in the medical world, but overeating is making your pregnant wife feel better. You should probably just let it happen.
4. "How much longer are you going to be pregnant for?" She knows how much longer. When you say "you've been pregnant forever," it also doesn't help. If she is past her due date, it's probably a good idea to not say anything at all to her. Nothing. Don't say a word.
5. "Can I touch your stomach?" Sometimes, this question isn't even asked. It just happens. If you're a stranger, you are most certainly NOT allowed to touch her stomach. If you're a family member, you are only allowed if she grabs your hand and puts it on her stomach.