We all have that person in our head we just can't forgive. They hurt us so badly that we wouldn't care if they met their demise. But wait until you hear this.

In fact we fantasize about it sometimes. We hope karma gets them really good one day. We hold on to the anger and the hate toward them for whatever they did because they are an awful person and they deserve awful things to happen to them, right?

WRONG. We have all made mistakes in life. Some bigger than others. No one who ever walked this earth was perfect except for Jesus Christ. But forgiving someone isn't really about them, it's about you.

Before I tell you more, I want you to know that what you're about to learn doesn't matter if you're a church-goer or not, everyone has someone they need to forgive and we could all use the freedom that comes from letting it go.

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Pastor Jeremy Deweerdt delivered a very powerful message on Sunday (3/19) at Cityfirst church on the topic of forgiveness. He compared holding on to anger and hate towards someone as carrying around a huge bucket full of heavy rocks. And that's really what it does to you if you think about it. Those feelings weigh you down, they hold you back, they make you bitter and unable to live your life freely and full of joy.

However, Jeremy also said that forgiving someone does not mean that you have to forget. In fact, you need to remember. This is how we grow and learn. This is where our compassion and empathy comes from. This is how we help others when they go through similar situations. You can forgive someone and not hold any grudges against them, but it does not mean that you have to reconcile with them, or even allow them back into your life in any way. You may never even speak their name out loud again, and that's OK. But by forgiving someone, you are allowing yourself to be free from those negative feelings you have been harboring in your heart, and make room for love.

So who is in your bucket? Who do you need to forgive? I would encourage you to really give this some thought and see what you come up with.

And as I sat in my chair with my 11-year-old daughter resting her head in my lap, tears ran down my face and onto her, as Pastor Jeremy shared what he and his wife Jen had done with their buckets a few years back. It was the most powerful part of his entire message and you should watch it in the video below. I kept thinking about how she, her mother and I will navigate through this divorce. What important lessons will we all learn from this situation, how we'll achieve forgiveness, and begin living the lives we've always wanted. I know for certain it will include that little girl and God and an emptying of my bucket

I strongly encourage you to watch all 48 minutes of this message. It will change your life.

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