Sometimes you really have to ask yourself, "am I the only one who hasn't lost their damn mind?" How do you make this decision, "I'm gonna squirt my milk on 'em, then take some cash?"

So this obviously crazy, disgusting woman walks into a pharmacy in Gemany on Monday and had a plan to steal some money... and lose every shred of decency. She went in to buy a breast pump and after she paid for it, when the register was open, she lifted up her shirt, whipped out a breast and started SPRAYING the cashier with breast milk...in his face.

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She used her other hand to grab some cash. Then she went to another cashier SOAKED that person and grabbed more cash and then ran out.

From Mirror UK:

Police in Germany have dubbed the lactating criminal the 'Milk Sprayer' and described the incident as a "most extraordinary crime". The woman bought a vacuum pump from the store in Darmstadt - As the cashier returned her change she tore open her shirt and sent a milky arc straight into the face of the drugstore employee, according to police spokesman Ferdinand Derigs. 

 

Derigs added: "She then moved on to the second cashier and sent an eyeful in her direction too. "The staff and customers were frozen to pillars of salt, so unused as they were to this extraordinary act. "She created the confusion to steal. This was a most extraordinary crime. We have never dealt with such a thing before."

Police say she got away with $127 and they're still searching for her now. She's described as having a quote, "robust' figure."

This would not be the first time I've heard of a lactating woman using her breast as a weapon. Ok, as a weapon, this would be the first, the other time happened at a strip club in Minneapolis. While hanging out with the DJ at this establishment I watched a dancer, on the runway, spray her breast milk into two different men's empty cocktail glasses. I will never forget the way my gagging felt that night.

 

 

 

 

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