We Ranked All 12 Months in Rockford Because the Best Month is Coming

What's your favorite month in Rockford?

I have a confession. I always forget about August. Like when I'm writing the date out in numbers, I forget that August is the 8th month. I can't explain why but maybe it's because August kind of sucks.

It's sticky, sweaty, humid and stressful when you're going back to school or your kids are going back to school.

So where does August rank?

Somewhere in the middle I think. So let's go, here are all 12 months in Rockford, ranked.

September - see ya humidity, when September rolls into Rockford we can finally stop stressing about having pit stains and giant hair. Just me? No way, you know what I'm talking about. You'll actually be comfortable when you get to City Market and get to bring your favorite hoodie back out when the sun goes down.
June - this year, maybe June wasn't the second best month... unless you love spending two hours in your bathroom waiting for a tornado, but usually June is great in Rockford. You're just getting into summer, kids are out of school, the pool is open at Peak Sports Club, it's June-tastic.
December - so maybe it's freezing and probably snowing, but we have Stroll on State, the biggest holiday celebration in Rockford history, plus we're happy to be cold. Duh, Santa needs it to be cold so he can come bring us presents. December in Rockford does not suck.
July - not only does July kick off with some amazing fireworks... that's right I'm talking about you Kirkland, but we have the Rock River, plus once it's July you just sweat and survive. Everyone's sweating, it's cool.
October - October in the Midwest is my personal favorite time of the year. My hair just looks so much better in October than any other month. The reason why Rockford's October gets bumped to the fifth spot though is because we put so much time and effort into Halloween and it ends up raining or being freezing when it's time to treat-or-treat. C'mon October, you can earn a higher spot if you try!
August - it's just not the best part of summer. August is too sweaty and too humid and everyone is too hot to be friendly. The construction in Rockford is horrendous, and the only detours involve seven thousand potholes. Plus back-to-school shopping sounds fun until you go to Target when the rest of the city decides to go to Target, too.
November - there are some huge pluses in November, Thanksgiving, Sweet Lenny's birthday, football season, daylight savings time which means an extra hour at RBI or Jax... but then there's November weather. Which includes freezing rain. We can do without freezing rain.
May - remember those potholes from August? Well in May, they are filled with rain water. And in May you get all excited for a Memorial Day weekend on the river, or at your bestie's grandma's pool and then it's cold. It's like we think we're getting summer in Rockford and it's just a month of meh.
April - personally I love April. But you know everyone feels that way about birthday months. But in Rockford, April is pretty much a tease. There will be one awesome weekend in the Forest City where you grab your bike and head down Perryville, and then it snows. Literally it snowed in April in the last few years here and it was so sad. I think I cried,
March - let's have a St. Patrick's Day parade! Ok, cool, but we have to wear winter jackets and it's too cold to drink beer. We'll still drink it and end up with hypothermia. Plus we lose an hour of sleep, so forget you, March.
February - the only reason February is not last on the list is because of the Super Bowl and Valentine's Day. If you're not single, February is not the worst month of the year. If you are single, you may as well call Feb/Jan a tie.
January - do you like living with a fear of frostbite? Struggling to start your car for half an hour before work? How about arriving and departing work in the dark? Plus you're fat, tired and poor from the holidays. And the return lines at CherryVale Mall? I. Just. Cant'.