Chicago’s ‘Favorite’ Booze Now Infused with Cicadas For a Limited Time

A Chicago suburban brewpub is offering a rare opportunity for you to gag like you never have before on a limited-time only shot. Behold, cicada-infused Malört shots.

When was the last time you vomited from drinking?

That's a legitimate question I'm asking. It's also relevant if you're proud of how long it has been since you ended a night by desecrating a toilet.

I haven't vomited from drinking since a 6-shot tequila night at a bowling alley in Springfield, Illinois in 1991. The only other time I've been close to losing my stomach contents was the night somebody tricked me into drinking a shot of Malört.

MORE: My First Shot of Malört Liqueur Might Be My Last [VIDEO]

Just like some people taste soap when eating cilantro, I was born with an aversion to the booze I call cat litterbox in a bottle. Malört is the absolute worst booze ever. And I wanted to punch that guy who got me to drink it in the face. (not really, but I think it would've made me feel better, in the moment).

Why anyone would want to try a shot of Malört infused with a cicada is beyond me, but the Noon Whistle Pub in Lombard is ready to pour one for you and your friends, according to WGN TV.

Cicada-Infused Malört

The Noon Whistle Pub, located at 800 East Roosevelt Road in Lombard, in an Instagram post, said,

“Prepare yourself for a once-in-a-lifetime experience because starting today, we’re thrilled to unveil our exclusive locally harvested Cicada-Infused Malört at Lombard Brewpub!”

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I want to believe the brewpub when they say things like this, but because I have trust issues now with all things Malört, I find this next statement hard to believe.

(from the same Instagram post) "Lobster-Like Flavor Sensation: Believe it or not, the 17-year-old virgin cicadas bring a flavor reminiscent of succulent lobster to this insanely delicious concoction. It's a taste you won't find anywhere else, and it's only available once every 17 years!"

The brewpub is collecting cicadas from a nearby park. They cook the haul and drop them into bottles of Chicago's most-talked-about liquor.

I don't know how long the 'infusion' process lasts but once ready, the shot sells for $5. Once these cicadas have gone, this shot won't be available for another 17 years. At which time I suspect that the owners will whip out a bottle of cicada-infused Malört aged for 17 years.

There's only one warning from Noon Whistle: If you have shellfish allergies do not to ingest!

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