College makes you smart. Write that on the chalkboard one hundred times, Bart Simpson. This story has a gross, deadly, not "college smart" ending.

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cusoncom
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A Wisconsin frat boy was pissed, and drunk...I don't know if he was drunk, but with a story like this I'd say yes...Or maybe just a dumb a**.

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Lonely Planet Images, Getty Images
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Chad Alvarez was upset with another member of his Sigma Chi frat at the University of Wisconsin. What could piss off a frat boy this much? Did someone steal his binkie? Did it have anything to do with homework? Someone stole his weed maybe? Whatever it was...Chad grabbed his frat brother's pet parrot and PUT IN IN THE MICROWAVE!

Ray Young, Dickerson & Nieman via Zillow
Ray Young, Dickerson & Nieman via Zillow
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What a jerk. What a terrible human. SG

So the frat fella with the missing bird returns home and notices a "foul" smell in the kitchen, sorry for that. What does he find in the microwave, you guessed it...Polly no longer wants a cracker.

Refresh Your Kitchen
iStock
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Charges were filed against Chad Alvarez...but wait a minute, Alvarez, University of Wisconsin...Yep that Alvarez. This bird killer is the son of former University of Wisconsin football coach, Barry Alvarez. I bet dad is SUPER proud!

American football on field with goal post in background.
dehooks
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The CRIMINAL charges against Chad would land him in jail for about seven years for killing the frat brother's bird. Any chance we could just put Chad in a microwave for about ten minutes?

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