I’m Not Going To See This Movie: ‘The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water,’ ‘Jupiter Ascending,’ and ‘Seventh Son’

Three new movies opening up in Rockford this weekend. Are they any good? Check out my seven-second reviews of each flick then decide for yourself.

THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER

Rated PG, 100 minutes

Rotten Tomatoes Critics Consensus: The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water won't win over many viewers who aren't fans of the show, but for the converted, it's another colorful burst of manic fun.

JUPITER ASCENDING

Rated PG-13, 125 Minutes

Rotten Tomatoes Critics Consensus: Pleasing to the eye but narratively befuddled, Jupiter Ascending delivers another visually thrilling misfire from the Wachowskis.

SEVENTH SON

Rated PG-13, 120 Minutes

Rotten Tomatoes Critics Consensus: Seventh Son squanders an excellent cast and some strange storyline ingredients, leaving audiences with one disappointingly dull fantasy adventure.