If America Was a House Party, This is What Illinois Would be Doing

Imagine America is a house party and all the fifty states were actual people at this party; what on earth would they be doing?

First, lets try to think about the actual types of people you meet at your average house party. Let's see, you've got the guy who's there just to network, the girl who wants to tell you her life story; then there's always that one person who definitely doesn't want to be there and then there's you.

So what if the state of Illinois showed up? What would she (or he) be doing? Brobible has the answer. They've compiled a list of what each state would be doing if they were at a house party. Here's what they've come up with:

Illinois
No one knows what Illinois is doing, other than trying to be the classiest thing in the mid-west with her theater performances and music scene, but based on everyone she hangs out with (like Chicago), they know she’ll play dirty and probably just stab you if you make her angry. She’s a real crazy ex that way.

Wisconsin
Wisconsin brought a cheese flavored beer and somehow dragged Aaron Rodgers to the party. They’re doing keg stands downstairs.

Iowa
Iowa has been drinking pure grain alcohol since their fraternity tailgate at 7am and is showing no signs of slowing down, stopping or even contemplating the dangers of ingesting enough ethanol to down an elephant. They’re really big on grain alcohol, as well as just grain in general.

What do you think? Is this pretty spot on our what?