Illinois Prioritizes New Flag Over Literally Anything That Matters

Illinois Wants a New Flag—Because That’s Clearly Our Biggest Problem

Illinoisans, rejoice! Our state lawmakers are tackling the issue that keeps us all up at night: the flag. That’s right—starting next month, you can vote on whether we should swap out our current flag for one of 10 shiny new designs.

It’s a bold move for a state with, oh, no other pressing concerns, like underfunded schools, skyrocketing property taxes, or crumbling infrastructure. But hey, who needs roads when we have a pretty new flag flapping over the potholes?

The Illinois Flag Commission has narrowed down the options to 10 finalists. They’re nice designs, I’m sure, but does anyone actually look at state flags? Or is this just a clever way to distract us from the fact that we still don’t know why Illinois potholes swallow entire SUVs?

Here’s the kicker: once you vote, the results will go to state lawmakers, who will vote again. Because clearly, this is a two-step decision. Forget efficiency—democracy thrives when we make flag design a multi-level process.

So, should you vote? Sure, why not. At least then you can say you participated in the one piece of Illinois legislation this year that doesn’t end in a debate over toll hikes.

Click here starting in January to view the Top 10 designs and cast your vote. Or don’t. The potholes won’t care either way.