It's going to be a weird baseball season anyway. 

As baseball tries to return to action later this month, there have been a couple of players announcing, for one reason or another, that they will not be playing baseball this year.

One of the reasons that some are sitting out is health concerns. One of the bullet points in the labor agreement was that any player that was immunocompromised could sit out this shortened season with no penalty.

This is where Rizzo comes in.

I have no idea if he technically is immunocompromised but he is a cancer survivor and they have been included in that group before.

I want Rizzo to play but will totally understand if he takes the season off. Especially if he considers my idea instead.

I propose that Anthony Rizzo takes over as first base coach and uses one of those segway robots with an iPad on it to communicate with players.

One of these:


Just imagine Rizzo being able to chirp the opposing first baseman the entire game. He already won't shut up on defense whenever someone reaches first. It's basically Coffee Talk with Anthony Rizzo whenever there's a runner on first.

Here's my artistic rendering of what it would look like when the Cubs play the Reds.

RIzzo Votto

But wait there's more.

Baseball isn't very much fun so they probably wouldn't go for it so we need to sweeten the pot.

You probably can't stream it because that would somehow violate broadcasting rules. What you could probably do is host the whole thing on Zoom and have 10 people pay 50 dollars apiece to be on the call. Anthony could talk to the fans between innings. That's 500 bucks a game, times 60 games equal $30K that could be donated to charity. You'd also give fans a unique perspective that could help mend the broken fence that currently resides between the fans and all of baseball.

Again, I hope that Rizzo plays this year, but this would be a fine consolation if he chooses to sit out.

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