Can You Decipher This Chevy Emoji Press Release? [PHOTO]

One time I test drove a Chevy Cruze. I didn't buy it, but I might have to go see the 2016 version after seeing this press release.

Chevy published this press release yesterday, and I love it. I'm planning on spending the day attempting to decipher all of the lines.

I'd hate to think that this is just a mess of emojis for us to be interested in deciphering, I feel like these emojis mean something.

Most specifically the first bullet point, which says if you drive this car you'll be strong, win trophies and fall in love, right?

Can You Decipher This Chevy Emoji Press Release?