Dear Illinois Walmarts, Please Host Dance Parties In Produce! – Every Shopper Ever

Walmart upped their shopping game with their pickup service, sparing many shoppers anxiety, anger, and more negative feelings. I am one of those shoppers, hi. This is not a knock against the supermarket giant, but I actually try hard to not go into those stores. I would say it's 60% me, 35% other shoppers, and 5% environment.

THINGS WALMART COULD DO FOR A BETTER SHOPPING EXPERIENCE

• Do the shopping for us (Oh, Wait.)
• Have powered carts with a bucket seat with a built-in massager
• Lower the brightness inside just a bit
• Have puppies on hand with a "cuddles" area
• Host dance parties

That last idea is not a bad one. In fact, it isn't uncommon for my kids and me to bust out a dance-off inside of Target on E. State Street every time we're there. Do we get looks? Probably. Do we care? Not in the least. But, seriously, can we just turn a section of every store into a brief dance-zone? It doesn't need to be all the time, just sporadically, like when Kmart did their blue light special throughout the day.

"DANCING SHOES NEEDED IN PRODUCE, PLEASE"

Let me preface, the video below is not from an Illinois Walmart. It doesn't mean it shouldn't happen though. And, even if there are not a lot of dancers you can imagine there were plenty of onlookers. Even if only for a moment, someone walking by could have been experiencing a rough day but cracked a smile at the sight of people bustin' a move inside a Walmart.

Illinois Walmarts, please make this a thing.

Also, those pants are something else, circa 1997.