This story has many layers, so hold on tight and make sure you have plenty of battery life...O.K., here we go.

Carolee Bildsten, who is obviously a proud supporters of her children's athletic accomplishments, had a wild night in Gurnee, IL.

Get our free mobile app

After attempting a "dine and dash" at Joe's Crab Shack, the police followed her to her home where she promised she would run in and get the money needed to pay the tab. Props to the Gurnee Police for being this kind from the start, they had no idea what was coming next.

Carolee was followed into her apartment by an officer where she said she would go to her bedroom dresser to get the money for the Joe's Crab Shack bill...What she grabbed out of the dresser was described as a "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device." Where I come from, that's not a form of payment. Props to the Gurnee cops once again, that description...so good.

Our favorite "sports mom" then held the device over her head like something out of a Kung-Fu movie and attempted to strike the officer. The officer (clearly trained to block sex toys) knocked it out of her hands and then arrested Carolee.

I know what you're thinking, the officer probably had to keep the weapon for evidence. Wrong, the weapon of choice was left behind and Carolee was brought in.

So assault, public intoxication, theft (dine and dash) and a damn fine wardrobe for her arrest photo.

Carolee was "free on a personal recognizance bond." SG

CHECK IT OUT: See the 100 most popular brands in America