Smart computer dude down the hall: "Maybe do some year-in-review stuff during the next few days."

Me: "Top 5 Things People Put in Their Butts in 2019." Nailed it.

Congrats America, 2019 was an incredible year for you and your butts.

According to VICE with statistics and info from The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s  database, here are things that people put in their butts. These are documented emergency room visits, people. All of these doctor visits are described verbatim, so enjoy:

 

  • Toy Hockey Stick
  • Egg Timer
  • Apple Sauce Can
  • Large Shampoo Bottle
  • Mattress Foam

Other lists include what got stuck in our ears, throat, nose, and various other spots. Happy New Year!