Illinois’ Worst Gift: The Malört Advent Calendar Has Arrived

Your stomach will not thank you later if you get yourself one of these but let me introduce you to the worst gift you could get someone in Illinois.

If you're looking for a holiday countdown that feels a little... different this year, why not try something that will make your insides completely turn against you?  Yes, I'm talking about the Malört Advent Calendar.

Illinois’ Worst Gift: The Malört Advent Calendar Has Arrived

Yes, it's real.  Yes, people are buying it.  Yes, I probably will.

Read More: Kelly Clarkson Taking A Malört Shot Like a Pro [VIDEO]

For just $79.99 on their website, you can celebrate all of December with a shot of Malört once a day until Christmas.  50mL bottle of pure regret.  Forget the chocolate, forget tiny toys, forget those cute little skincare minis... this is the advent calendar for the brace, the bold, and the people who say yes to literally anything.

This very "festive", $79.99 creation comes with 25 individual 50mL bottles of Malört, each tucked behind little perforated doors like a surprise you're not totally sure you want.  It's the perfect mix of holiday cheer and questionable decision-making.  Don't tell me it's not!

Oh, Woodman's also has it for $10 less... does that persuade your vote to buy?

Read More: Chicago's Latest Craze: Try Cicada-Infused Malört Shots

If you've never had Malört before, boy, you're missing out.  Malört is literally a Chicago "rite of passage", to say the least.  It's part hazing, part tradition, and part "why do we do this to ourselves?"

Yet, we all still do it at some point in our adulthood.

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This guy on TikTok has been doing the advent calendar challenge & every single one he's drank so far is just regular Malört.  No specials flavors, just Malört.

On a serious note, if you really want to spend $80 on this bad boy, go right ahead.  Nobody is stopping you, and frankly, nobody is doing it with you either.  A shot of Malört a day until Christmas?  Iconic. Truly, you're a special kind of breed.  Here's where you can buy it, and I hope you film yourself taking a shot every day.  Please.