It's tough out here on the internet streets. Clicks are gold (or, Spice if you've recently seen Dune) and it's every man, woman, and influencer for themselves out here.

This map, that is not new, has been making the internet rounds again over the last few days. On its face it's easy to see why, I'll go through the highlights in a minute but before I do, let's talk about this map and a little Internet 101.

This map is TOTALLY made up. The account it comes from is Lights, Camera, Pod, a branch of the Barstool empire that knows a thing or two about attracting eyeballs on the internet.

Some things that should tip you off that it's fake. One is no sourcing at the bottom of the page. The second should be the two lines under the title of the map. What does "Based on Social Media, Wal-Mart and Target" even mean? And then right under that it actually tells you UNOFFICIAL.

Now that being said, it's what's inside the map that makes it go viral. Putting up KitKats and Skittles on all the states is boring, even if that's probably what the map actually looks like. No this map is like a Where's Waldo? for offending states.

Let's start with Wisconsin.

attachment-Map Wisconsin

Hilarious. Wisconsin thinks cheese is candy. Love it.

There's more.

North Dakota

attachment-Map North Dakota

Baked beans is the funniest one on the board. If this doesn't immediately remind you of another internet meme, start googling.


attachment-Map Arizona

Candy Dots are horrible. Worst candy ever made. You eat paper and they taste like your grandmother's old china, the set she doesn't really take care of. Arizona is the Florida of the West, but they're not that dumb.

Iowa and Mississippi

attachment-Map Iowa
attachment-Map Mississippi

Both these states getting the candy corn treatment is funny. If I was doing this map I would have had Iowa be the sole owner of candy corn for the same reason that Wisconsin is the only state with cheese slices. Corn is part of Iowa's identity. It's pretty much all they have.

The Eastern Seaboard

attachment-Map Eastern Seaboard

Here we've given Massachusetts circus peanuts, which are only slightly better than candy dots. Rhode Island gets the only "acceptable" candy with Lemonheads. They're good but you only need about 2 a year. Max. And then Connecticut gets raisins. AKA nature's candy.

All responses that will get folks riled up and sharing content. It's a beautiful ballet.

If you've made it this far, thanks for the pageviews. You can now dive back into the internet for more shiny objects. Or read this next list of arbitrarily ranked candies. The choice is literally yours.

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