What Are The Chances We Have A White Christmas In Illinois?

If you think you can figure out the meaning behind The Old Farmer's Almanac, you're a better person than me.

That's because I think I may have finally cracked the code on that thing; it's a bunch of gibberish.

I'm sorry if that's coming off a bit harshly, but I'm having a hard time understanding what they are trying to say when they give us this year's Christmas forecast.

The Christmas Forecast Confusion

Country Living put together a "by the region" article highlighting the chances of snow. According to the story, the Heartland should "expect snow on Christmas Day."

Illinois is in the Heartland, right? Google says the Heartland includes states from North and South Dakota to Texas and Illinois. So that means snow on Christmas Day.

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Not so fast because The Old Farmer's Almanac also says you should NOT expect snow on Christmas if you live in the Upper Midwest.

Is Illinois the Heartland or the Upper Midwest?

Hold on, is Illinois considered part of the Upper Midwest? Google again comes to the rescue, saying the Upper Midwest consists of six states: Indiana, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and, yep, Illinois.

See what I'm saying about the Old Farmer's Almanac Christmas forecast? Illinois is covered no matter what. No snow on Christmas in Illinois? Old Farmer's Almanac was right.

Tons of snow on Christmas? You guessed it, Old Farmer's Almanac was right again.

They could've just saved us a bunch of time and said, "It's either going to snow on Christmas this year, or it's not."

A Forecast as Reliable as a Daily Horoscope

I was today years old when I realized The Old Farmer's Almanac is about as reliable as a daily horoscope.