You're probably asking yourself, "how does a guy wind up in a position to even think about biting another man there?" Allow me to explain what happened.

At the age of 16, my father warned me when I started DJ'ing in bars, that there will come a time when you may have to fight your way out that bar and more often than not it will involve a woman. She may not be the cause of the fight but there's usually a woman involved somehow. He advised me that the guy who's challenging me by running his mouth should be punched in the mouth while he's running it. The guy who been quietly staring at you from the corner should be avoided because he's probably crazy and will hurt you really bad... probably the kind of guy that would bite your testicles.

Enter 31-year-old Corporal Michael Flaig, a 10-year veteran of the Anne Arundel County, Maryland police department. On Cinco de Mayo, he was off duty and drinking at a bar in Baltimore. Officer Flaig was getting pretty touchy-feely with a woman who was there with her male roommate. The roommate asked officer Flaig to stop and then they left. Once outside, Flaig and another man jumped him. The victim apparently got the best of the attackers and that's when Flaig bit the victim's testicle and then ran off. Just how much did the victim 'own' this cop in the fight that his testicles were in a position to be bitten?

It wasn't long after the police were called and when they arrived they found Flaig on the second floor of the bar with a blood-stained shirt and he appeared inebriated.

Police said they were unable to find the second man involved in the attack. Flaig is being charged with second-degree assault and public intoxication.

Go here to read more of the official police document, including a statement from the department.

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